Bereavement in Obstetrics - Reaching Out To Anyone Struggling

Miscarriage

Miscarriages are very common, and most women will experience at least one miscarriage in their lifetime. There are all sorts of reasons that miscarriages happen, and some are still unknown to us. However, knowing it is a common occurrence is not a comfort to those who experience it. A is still a bereavement, and people going through this should be offered the same kind of support that other grieving people are offered.

 Empathy

It's important to try and show empathy to anybody experiencing loss. All too often, a person experiencing a miscarriage will be expected to 'just get on with it'. This is unhelpful and does not help the person to process their grief. Sometimes, this lack of empathy is even seen coming from doctors, which is the worst place for it. In our programme, 'Bereavement in Obstetrics', we explore the best way for medical professionals to approach treatment for a person who is having a miscarriage. 

'Lockdown Babies' And Social Media

The pandemic over the last year has meant that social media has been a very popular form of communication between families and friends. It also meant that many people were out of work and fending off boredom at home. People were posting more about their personal lives to their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other websites. For those who at the time were struggling with infertility or miscarriage, this will have been difficult. Most people do post about their family lives on social media, and there is nothing wrong with this. However, to someone struggling with infertility, their feeds might have been full of pregnancy scans and announcements. These are easier to avoid when you are working full-time and have other things to do, but during the pandemic and various lockdowns, it would have been harder to avoid for a lot of people. Somebody going through a miscarriage would be seeing the journey that they themselves were expecting to make. It can be hard for someone to feel happy for others who announce they're expecting when they are struggling or unable to live that dream themselves. This can have a big impact on their mental health.

 

Feelings of Failure

Feelings of failure are a huge part of low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. Many people struggling with infertility and recurring miscarriages have a feeling of failure associated with this. Most people would agree that you have not 'failed' if you have a miscarriage or struggle to conceive, but for the person going through it, especially if it is their dream to have children, it is harder to believe. Be mindful of this. 

Bereavement in Obstetrics – World Prematurity Day & Miscarriages

World Prematurity Day – What is it?

On the 17^th of November, it was World Prematurity Day. This is a global movement made to help raise awareness of premature birth and the effect that it has on people. Expecting parents dream of the day that they can hold their baby in their arms. When a baby is born prematurely, they have to go into neonatal care. This can mean only being able to see their baby in an incubator, connected to tubes. They don't go on straight away to settle down at home and do all of the things that they as new parents have been taught to do. It can mean weeks of visiting their baby in the hospital until the baby is stable enough to go home. Sadly, not all babies make it home. According to the charity 'Bliss', out of the 15 million babies born prematurely every year, 1 million of them will not survive. This is why I decided to include World Prematurity Day in this blog post about bereavement in obstetrics. 

What is considered a premature birth?

A birth is considered premature when it happens three weeks or more before the due date. Premature births can lead to complications and medical problems. It is possible for babies born as early as 24 weeks to survive, but they do need specialist care. As mentioned above, some of these babies still do not survive.

Miscarriage:

Bereavement in obstetrics (for example, miscarriages) are very common, but there is a taboo around conversations about it. This is probably due to it being a difficult topic for some to understand, and one that makes people very uncomfortable. Although it makes people uncomfortable, it is still important to discuss. Recently, Meghan Markle opened up about a miscarriage she experienced this year. There has been a huge response, with some of the comments being grateful and some being unhelpful. Some people have said, “Not all grief needs to be made public knowledge!” Sadly, all this sort of response does it makes those who have experienced miscarriage or given birth to a stillborn baby feel that they cannot talk about it. Another comment states, “Meghan Markle may not see the awful comments about her, but your friends who have experienced miscarriages will.”

Complications during pregnancy, miscarriages and premature births:

 It's really important that parents dealing with the above get the empathy and support that they need and deserve. This can start by sharing experiences, so that others don't feel alone.